Ego V. Insecurity: The Blogoff

Greg Giraldo is dead and George Lopez has his own standup specials and late night talk show. I think about this whenever I question whether life is fair or not (hint for non-comedy fans: it's not).

DISCLAIMER: NO MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS WERE CONSULTED BEFORE THE PUBLICATION OF THIS BLOG AND DR. PHIL HAS SUGGESTED THAT EVERY TIME YOU READ THIS SOMEWHERE A KITTEN DIES HORRIBLY. ENJOY.

Taking the enormous step of starting a blog, and by enormous step I mean the 17 minutes of my life it took to Google 'How To Start A Blog' and follow the 4 step-by-step instructions, has made me question the psychological motivating force behind such an endeavor. I have thought about it when viewing the blogs, writings and various forms of expression of others and while I had my own suspicions about each according to what I knew of the individual, I never really KNEW why they posted their writings, their music, their photography, their daily happenings and (to be discussed in much greater detail later) even their children for public consumption (editor's note: consuming raw or undercooked children may lead to illness and is not endorsed by the author, his editorial staff or society in general). I tend to think that most such outgoing behavior is fueled by either ego or insecurity and so, with no training, effort or respect for the scientific process I have decided to address this issue myself.

EGO: The most obvious element to putting yourself out there for the world to praise or critique, the ego is the double-edged sword of the human psyche. On one hand it propels men (and the occasional woman) to greatness, whether you respect the self-glorifying intent or not. On the other hand it gives us Lebron James, Simon Cowell and 90% of politicians. Without the drive that only an enlargened ego can give us, Sarah Palin is mooseback, gazing over at Russia right now and Tom Cruise has the best smile of any of the bartenders on the Pied Piper Cruise lines. There has to be ego involved for any of us to think others want to hear us sing, view our paintings, watch us dance or read our books or disturbed blog rants. My own decision to start blogging was only made after realizing that if millions of people can hang on the words of a man who calls himself 'The Situation' (and who apparently speaks directly from his abs) then my own insanity can't damage society any more than it already has been. I am better than that jackass and hence my voice will be heard.

INSECURITY: Ask any of the great comedians: Pryor, Kinison, Carlin, Stanhope, Giraldo, Carrot Top, etc...they have a multitude of personal issues. Dane Cook? A healthy, confident young man. Throughout history the most brilliant artists and musicians are often troubled individuals to varying degrees. Insecurity, or the desire to achieve some kind of recognition to offset feelings of personal inadequacy or pain, can be as motivating a force as ego. To achieve their goals insecure men will overcome height issues (see Napolean and JT Davis), heartbreak, loss of a loved one, dysfunctional families, even the classic phallic insecurity (an oft referenced but difficult to prove theory in most cases) to succeed. The driven search for positive reinforcement as emotional compensation has lead to some of the most creative expressions in our history. And it also gave us Pauly Shore.

So after almost no soul searching what so ever, what do I feel drives me? I consulted my Ego and my Insecurity separately (they refuse to be in the same room as one another) and discovered I draw from both. My Ego has made it clear that it believes to deprive the world of my chiseled features and razor-sharp wit by sharing it only with my close circle of acquaintences would be tantamount to discovering a limitless, environmentally safe energy source and only using it to power my beard and mustache trimmer. My Ego has something my therapist calls 'delusions of grandeur', a french term I believe which I've been too lazy to look up on Wikipedia. My Insecurity recognizes that while I've talked about writing since I was young enough to believe Columbus discovered America, that failing in a field where Twilight has been wildly successful would inevitably lead me into a downward spiral of alcohol, drug use and possibly wearing crocs in public. One rejection letter from the company that published Jimmy Fallon's autobiography could push me off the sanity ledge I've been balanced precariously on since Hawthorne got renewed for a second season.

So while they won't discuss it with one another, my Ego and Insecurity are in agreement for once. I'm egotistical enough to believe there are people who will enjoy what I write and insecure enough to want to prove to myself I can do it. I need this blog to hone my questionable talents to one day try to get published. For the majority of you only glancing through this and who didn't read between the lines, that would suggest I am using this blog as a training ground before I undertake something meaningful. And that would be true. This blog is like practice sex to get your technique down before sleeping with someone you care about. Which makes all of you like cheap, one-night stands I will lie to my friends about. Don't take it personal. In the meantime please read when possible, comment when feeling generous and share it with friends you secretly despise. Inebriation is not required before reading but it's been proven to help. In the meantime have a great 4th of July, celebrate safely and above all, be good to one another. See you at the Pulitzers.