EDITOR'S NOTE: I HAD TO PAY MARK ZUCKERBERG $6.72 FOR THE USE OF THE TRADEMARKED TERM 'FACEBOOK' IN THIS BLOG. DONATIONS MAY BE SENT DIRECTLY TO MY HOME (WITH ALL CHECKS MADE TO 'CASH') OR CAN BE SUBMITTED IN THE FORM OF SPICY CHICKEN WINGS.
Dear Facebook: I feel I owe you an apology. For some time now I have used your powers of connectivity (did I just make up a word?) to indulge my own personal amusement. I have not utilized you to better myself or humanity. I have rarely addressed important topics in a relevant manner. I do not often express my faith or my political beliefs and by not doing so I avoid subjecting myself to the judgement of others. You have an almost limitless potential for helping me express my true values and thoughts to those I consider 'friends' but instead I share my favorite TV shows and ask people to send me gifts in meaningless games. I could open conversations about our political leaders and discuss my ideas for improving the country, or at the very least my local community. Instead I rant about overrated comedians and rappers and my plans to end their careers (which I maintain would still improve the country). You are not pushed to your potential, Facebook. Much like the internet where all the vast knowledge of the world is at your fingertips and the most prominent information is regarding pornography and erectile dysfunction. In all fairness I feel the need to tell you that many of the friends you've connected me with are shallow-end of the pool friends; we simply never get deep. I know them only in a casual manner, or have not truly known them for many years, and because of this, I am cautious about offending them. I don't know what god they worship, if any. I don't know their party: Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Boston Tea, Pampered Chef, etc. I don't know if they have an appreciation for intellectual comedy or if they watch According To Jim. Is it fair for me to impress my views upon them and if so, should I be sensitive to criticism, no matter how insane their opposing views are? Is it right for me to mock Dane Cook in every blog and 73% of my status updates knowing that perhaps half of my acquaintences find his hyperactive, joke-free rambling highly entertaining? Perhaps I've taken taken the coward's way out by rationalizing my fears, Facebook. I know you've never pressured me. You just wanted me to reconnect with people I haven't seen since high school, maybe share a few pictures around the holidays, participate in a 5K benefit walk someone posted and yes, develop crippling arthritis from playing Bejeweled Blitz endlessly. You meant well. But like any technology it's a double edged sword that can help or harm and we are all free to utilize it to our own purposes. Some want me to join them in rallying behind the injustice of the Casey Anthony case while others just want me to water their fictional crops. To each their own. Some topics will always be taboo to many but necessary to some. I never desired to be one of those people who constantly preaches about divisive subjects but nor have I ever viewed myself as someone timid about being somewhat edgy. So Facebook, maybe we can work through this together. I shouldn't feel the need to edit myself on topics I consider important to me. And those who truly are my friends will take my value into account when reading anything I post, even if it's something that contrasts with their own beliefs. Intelligent people worth my time will either allow me my opinions on taboo subjects or provide their counterpoint in a reasonable manner. I have my glaringly obvious flaws pointed out frequently enough by women at bars, I don't need to be cursed and insulted by my Facebook friends as well. And to those who would respond insultingly; I guess sometimes you have to cut the grass before you can see the snakes. And Facebook, maybe you can help me along the way to decide the appropriate times to discuss such things and keep me out of trouble. Now if only I could put a breathalyzer on my cell phone...
Dear Twitter: You suck. I think I hear Rashard Mendenhall calling you.
where's the 'like' button?
ReplyDeleteDon't forget ... you also use it for a gallery for your narcissistic self portraits. LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteDane Cook is kinda of a douche but I've seen a few of his movies anyway (my bad).
ReplyDeleteI had to highlight this whole thing to read white font on the light grey back ground.
I enjoyed it none the less.
~toodles...Z