Try to stay positive, it's easy to be anti
but some days are harder than others, I can't lie
Gotta stay strong on the outside, I can't cry
so I walk around like I'm Superman, I can't die...
In fairness to all of you who take 2 minutes out of your day from watching Jersey Shore, setting the foundation for your children's therapy sessions 30 years from now (which may be connected to you watching Jersey Shore while raising your children) and downloading videos of kittens doing cute things, I feel I should establish why I do this blog and the goals I hope to accomplish with it. I owe it to all of you for the subtle psychological damage you're subjecting yourselves to.
WHY I WRITE 'THE STATE OF KULIFAY' BLOG
1: Inordinate amounts of free time that became available when I gave up on trivial concepts like 'raising a family', 'continuing education', 'contributing to society' and 'exercise'.
2: A vain attempt to generate praise and adulation with a minimal amount of effort.
3: My continuing search for justification and acceptance for my barely concealed mild insanity and erratic, but lovable, psyche.
4: One more medium for my personal crusade against the unjustly successful careers of Dane Cook and Lil Wayne. In a twist of irony I continue to assault mediocrity with my mediocre wit.
5: Perfecting my writing craft for a future career as an author of sexually explicit, but surprisingly heartfelt, romance novels.
WHAT I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH FOR YOU THE READER
1: Making you all feel better about your life choices that did not result in you writing rambling, pointless blogs for a mostly unidentified audience...and CJ.
2: Improving your grammer, vocabulary and scientific knowledge as you look online to confirm that what you just read couldn't possibly be correct.
3: Inflicting psychological and emotional turmoil that you will inevitably pass on to your children. I believe that children are the future... and I plan on sabotaging it. One blog at a time.
4: Something to help you pass the time during commercials...when watching Jersey Shore (I clearly recognize the lowest common denominator preferences of my target market).
5: Restoring your faith in humanity by proving to you that there is at least one champion for the greater good out there, fighting to keep you informed, taking a stand against political incompetence, calling out those who would weaken our society through their own selfish pursuits and bringing order to the chaos. And that man is JT Davis. I will regularly post a link to his far more productive blog (www.kulifaykiller.blogspot.com) .
This is not about answers, but the questions we ask
the reasons for writing, a blog taken to task
So I can leave something behind when I'm gone
I got 99 problems...and a blog ain't one.
here's my shameless self promotion: www.kulifaykiller.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI find this blog to be offensive mindless dreck. The fact that I spent my employer's valuable "man hours" reading this is cause for flogging in a public forum, and for said flogging to be simulcast on Facebook, Twitter, Google Buzz, and jumbotrons of any major sports team and remaining members of the defunct Big 12 teams. And while you find every opportunity to humiliate me in a public forum, you're just giving me reasons to start my own counterblog. No, I'm not typing this with a straight face, No I CANNOT come up with anymore random negative thoughts about your post, YES I THINK THE DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL! and no, I don't mean that...now if you will excuse me, I'm fairly certain there's yet another meeting I'm late for.
ReplyDeleteThe "dreck" gave you away, CJ..........................
ReplyDeleteGo, Johnny, Go!
my mind started singing when i got to the line "I believe that children are the future..."
ReplyDelete