Righting My Writing

I'm individuality, that just wants to blend in
I'm faith that's really only been faithful to sin
I'm a player who doesn't really play to win
I'm an ending that just can't wait to begin
I'm humble, but too egotistical to explain
I'm rich in some ways but too broke to make it rain
I'm happiness that's harder to show than pain
I'm countless acts of good that have all been done in vain
I'm a fire that hasn't yet been lit
I'm a guilty conscience that doesn't regret a bit
I'm a writer in my mind with a portfolio unwrit
and I'm a blog intro that knows when it's time to quit...

I've been slacking on the blogging lately and writing in general. While I have faith in the world to somehow survive through the cold, lonely periods of my literary absence I feel an obligation to myself to write. It's one of the few things that brings me peace, makes me feel productive and provides a reasonably safe outlet for my insanity. I may lose a facebook friend or two every other blog I post but as the old saying goes, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few sensitive, uptight eggs. Or something like that, I've never been good at remembering exactly how sayings go.

Writing without a target audience in mind is difficult at times. We all adjust our manner of speech and behavior to a degree with respect to who we're communicating with. It doesn't mean changing the nature of who you are but attempting a measure of respect for the person or people you're speaking to. I don't joke with my mother the same way I do with friends while having a couple beers at the bar. Out of respect for her sensitivities, a gratitude for the gift of life and healthy fear of my mother's quick reflexes and accurate striking ability. Anyone who insists they don't do this, that they're always the same no matter where they are or who they talk to is either trying to impress with their badass disregard for cultural norms or is a legitimate sociopath. But I try not to judge.

I'm slowly realizing (I do more realizing slowly than I care to admit) that the majority of my difficulties writing involve finding something to focus on and a willingness to share it with my current audience: again, my Facebook friends for the most part. If I have a topic I find humorous the odds are it's going to be somewhat offensive. I spent my formative teen years listening to Andrew Dice Clay and N.W.A. albums. My sense of refinement and subtlety may be a bit underdeveloped. If I want to talk about something related to the the retail industry, our culture of entitlement or social interactions well...I'm saving all that for my eventually-to-be-written book. Suggested retail price $24.95. I take pre-purchases even though the book isn't written yet. Cash only. And if I have an idea I'd like to write about that is political or religious/spiritual in nature I'm not sure I want to engage in exchanges of that nature with some of the people I'm friends with. Not that I'm afraid of sharing my beliefs or opinions or that I mind a reasoned, intelligent conversation on those topics but, let's face it, some people are completely incapable of being reasonable or intelligent about some things. They're much more comfortable ranting, criticizing, belittling and judging. And to them I respectfully say, YOU'RE WRONG, YOU JACKASSES! I HOPE YOU DIE!! Sorry...sorry. I lost myself for a minute there...

 So I'm trying to get my writing back on track. It's something I owe to myself, regardless of the harm it does to any of you reading it. Future blogs may become edgier, more opinionated and occasionally outright delusional. But if you know me at all you all knew the risks when you clicked on it to read. To anyone under the age of 18...well I'm not friends with anyone under 18 on Facebook (qualifying it with 'on Facebook' kinda made that sound a little creepy, didn't it?) so I'm not sure why you're reading the blog of a guy over twice your age you don't even know. The entire world of porn at your web connected fingertips and you're reading this crap? Kids today.

So while I'm trying to correct my issues with writing, feel free to provide suggestions: topics to cover, ideas to brainstorm, people or groups to slam, traffic to play in...whatever your suggestion for me to do is. Just keep in mind when sharing your constructive criticism that I know where most of you live and/or work and that I'm overly sensitive due to irrational self-esteem issues. 2012 is my target year to write my book condemning the current state of society so the next few months are dedicated to honing my cynicism and anger to a razor sharp edge. You people will be the whetstones I sharpen my dull intellect upon. In the meantime I'll try to direct you to the writings of more intelligent people with social consciences and educational material (JT Davis, Dan Westover, Bethany Berkstresser and a few others) to counteract reading my blogs. I like to preserve a balance in the force. In the meantime, kick ass in life, support each other and do what you love.